Nick went into crisis mode this week, and it was hard to watch, I’ll be honest. Like much of Bachelor Nation, I want him to find happiness with a respectable and confident woman his own age. Oh wait, is that not what he’s doing on this show? Huh.
This is was rough week all around, y’all. I had a big project that wrapped up at work (yay!) which led to a delay in writing this recap (boo!), so I sincerely apologize for the delay. But don’t you worry, I watched The Bachelor. And I think it’s safe to say that it was a rough week for Nick, too.
We left off with Taylor returning to the two-on-one after being sent home to talk to Nick about Corinne. Nick, who clearly felt awkward and just wanted her to leave, didn’t seem to hear what she was saying. Ah well. He’ll learn eventually. I have faith that Bachelor in Paradise Nick is in there somewhere and knows that Corinne is legitimately the same age as the twins. I believe he’s blinded by wanting to be lovers in the nighttime with Corinne so badly that he can hardly function. In any case. That’s where we left off.
Taylor still goes home, Corinne feels victorious, and then we go into the rose ceremony. Nick sends three women home, and then they go to Saint Thomas. Which, seriously ABC? You have to air them traipsing around in bikinis on a literal tropical island in the middle of winter?
Date #1: One-on-One with Kristina
Honestly, I don’t remember what they did on this date, because I was so focused on Kristina’s story. So often, I feel like the producers force the women to talk about tragedies in their lives in order to be memorable with the bachelor. But I didn’t get that vibe here. Kristina told her life story in such a matter-of-fact way, like she didn’t want Nick’s sympathy. I respect the hell out of that. She’s made a life for herself here after growing up in an orphanage! I hope that Nick puts Kristina side-by-side with Corinne to compare the differences at some point. A tragedy for Corinne would be in her nanny was late with her cucumber slices.
Anyway, Kristina gets the rose! Hurray!
Date #2: Volleyball is not for all
This date was so misguided. When you’re down to 9 women, you’re past the point of doing competitive sports dates. Come on, Nick. But anyway, they’re playing volleyball in the sand, blah blah, Corinne is drunk and everyone else is frustrated. That about sums it up.
Nick got kind of bombarded by the women in the evening part of the date, because they were all feeling insecure. But no one felt as insecure as Jasmine, who was the only one who hadn’t yet been on a one-on-one with Nick (except Corinne, I suppose, but she survived the two-on-one, so that kind of counts?). So what does she do? When she gets alone time with Nick, she airs her concerns, and then she pretends to strangle him. REPEATEDLY. I’ve seen Nick on four separate Bachelor franchise shows now, and I’ve never seen him look so uncomfortable. Needless to say, she goes home. And I’ll talk more about the strangling in a bit (see Stupidest Moment).
Raven ended up getting the rose, but they didn’t even show that part. That’s how crazy-pants and weird the date was.
Date #3: Two-on-one with Whitney and Danielle L.
First of all, who’s Whitney? Lol, girl, we’ve hardly seen you speak. I thought for sure that it would be easy, he’d send Whitney home, Danielle L. would get the rose, we’d move on. But… that’s not what happened. Sure, he did send Whitney home right away, and then she said this curious thing about how Danielle wasn’t right for Nick. Huh? Since when? But then… the women in the house said it too. And then NICK SENT DANIELLE HOME TOO. Like, whoa. What’s happening?
The episode ended with Nick going to talk to the remaining women (only six!) and saying that he’s having doubts. And then we cut to that dreaded To Be Continued… screen. Screw you, ABC, I’m over this!
There wasn’t a lot of humor this week, which is why this recap is lacking its usual snark. But there was one moment that made me lol—on the group date, I mentioned that Corinne was drunk. Well, she was DRUNK. There was one point where she was annoying Jasmine so much that Jasmine straight-up pushed her down in the sand. Like a child. And we didn’t hear Corinne complain about it! Why? BECAUSE SHE WAS SO DRUNK. It was kind of amazing that she could even stand up.
Like I said, Jasmine pretending to strangle Nick was weird. But here’s where it got stupid—she kept doing it, and then asked if he was into that. It’s a fair question, I guess, but a little out of place on the group date. Nick said no, which would have been fine either way, you’re into what you’re into. BUT. Jasmine kept saying not to worry, she’d show him, she’d teach him. Like, girl. You haven’t had a one-on-one and you hardly get to talk to this guy. You’re already talking about choking him while being lovers in the nighttime? BOLD MOVE, COTTON, LET’S SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT FOR HER. Yeah, she got sent home. She maybe should have paid a little more attention to his social cues.
It was a rough week. My top two, Vanessa and Rachel, were both feeling really insecure this week, and that was hard to watch. But Kristina! I loved Kristina this week. I hope she gets a hometown!
Let the record show—I’m hoping that Vanessa, Rachel, Raven, and Kristina get hometowns. I originally had Danielle M. in the mix too, but she fell off my radar a bit. Plus, she’s blond. I’m making the prediction that the two blonds will be sent home next week.
Enemy of the State
Honestly, it’s probably still Corinne.
But the real enemy this week was inside each of the women. They were their own worst enemies. I hope that changes before next week, because it’s not great TV when all you want is an escape from the real world.
Gosh, who didn’t go home this week? We said sayonara to Alexis, Jaimi, and Josephine at the rose ceremony, Jasmine on the group date, and both Whitney and Danielle on the two-on-one. There were twelve women when the episode began, and Nick halved them. Next week is going to be interesting.
The Bachelor airs on Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.
Images / (2) Giphy; (1)(3)(4) ABC