The reason I love reality television is because it’s an escape from the real world. This week was different. It felt a little too real. And it was… unsettling.
If you couldn’t guess, I’m talking about Corinne and the “Make America Corinne Again” statement heard round Bachelor Nation. Maybe it didn’t both other people as much as it bothered me, but I’m telling ya, it BOTHERED me. As pointed out by Claire Fallon, of the “Here To Make Friends” podcast, many of the rhetorical structures and points made by Corinne throughout her time on this show are very VERY Trump-like. I’m not trying to be political, but while it may be easy for us to see how terribly hypocritical Corinne is, I think it goes to show that Nick isn’t seeing it. Even with the other women telling him, he’s not seeing it. But if Nick were to pick Corinne? Let’s just say Vanessa (a Canadian) would probably be banned from Miami (where Corinne lives).
It also didn’t help that the news of Sally Yates’ firing broke while the episode was airing. That really put a damper on the whole night.
So. We started this episode off with the end of the last cocktail party and the rose ceremony. Total yawn. The women watch Corinne and Taylor fight with each other, and they’re somehow surprised? I don’t even know. I was bored. Two women went home, and then they all flew to New Orleans. I wonder if this was around Halloween? It probably was, right? It would have made the spooky stuff make sense to them, even though it doesn’t make sense to us. Anyway! Now here we are.
Date #1: One-on-One with Rachel
I barely have words for this date because I’m still squeeing! These two are the cutest, and Nick as good as said that he was planning on meeting Rachel’s family. I just. I loved it. They basically just explored, and I usually hate those dates, but this was the best. I want to be Rachel’s best friend. So bad. She clearly got the rose.
Date #2: As Long As You Love May
I’ve watched a whole bunch of seasons of this show and its off-shoots now, and I have to say, this is probably one of the stupidest dates I’ve ever seen. It was very New Orleans, and if they were there around Halloween, it would have made sense in the context. But for us viewers? Yawn. Ouija boards and voodoo and ghosts. It doesn’t translate very well to a small screen. Lovely Danielle M. gets the rose. And now I’m moving on.
Date #3: Two-on-One with Taylor and Corinne
I love to hate two-on-ones. They’re awkward, and they almost always turn out the same, especially on The Bachelor. He picks the girl everyone hates, who the producers frame as the villain. So, blah blah, they go into the bayou together and then Nick speaks to Corinne and Taylor separately while the other has her tarot cards read. Taylor is so confident, which I’m like… you’re 23. He’s 36! If anything, you should both go home. But that’s not what happens. Nick chooses Corinne, for some strange-ass reason that I can’t make sense of. And Taylor is supposed to go home. But instead, she finds some voodoo witches (or something) to perform magic on her and then she goes to find Nick and Corinne to talk to him again. And that’s when we got the To Be Continued… message. You suck, ABC.
Once again, we were blessed with an Alexis moment at the end of the episode, during the credits. Last week, she shared with Nick that she was afraid of Nicolas Cage. This week, Nick surprises her in the haunted house by wearing a Nicolas Cage mask. I was laughing so hard while watching this. She’s a gem, a blessing to us during these dark times.
There were arguably several stupid moments in this week’s episode, but one particular moment stood out to me as the stupidest. Yep, I’m talking about Taylor returning to the date to confront Nick about choosing Corinne. Now, we don’t know how this is going to turn out yet, but I can tell you that it’s not going to go well for her. It just… wasn’t smart. It was up there with Kacie B. flying to Europe to try to win back Ben Flajnik—not smart (deep cut, right? Do you remember that happening?). So we’ll see how that turns out!
I still love Vanessa, but she didn’t get a lot of screen time this week. The shining star was Rachel, by far. I want to be her best friend. I want to talk about law stuff with her and meet her judge father and be besties. She’s amazing. If she doesn’t win this season, I’m really pulling for her to be the next Bachelorette. Then I can love on her in my recaps for a while longer. <3 <3 <3
Enemy of the State
Honestly, while the enemy of the state is still Corinne, the situation between her and Taylor was all around toxic this week. It would have been for the best if they had both gone home. They’re both too young for Nick anyway. But as I stated, Corinne was incredibly Trump-like in this episode, and it made my blood run cold.
We said goodbye to Sarah and Astrid at the rose ceremony at the beginning of the episode. Sarah was very sad, but it’s Astrid who I’m going to miss. She was fun and goofy. And technically, we also said goodbye to Taylor during the two-on-one date, but she hasn’t left yet, so I’ll probably be repeating myself next week. We’ll have to see.
What did you think of this episode? Let me know in the comments!
The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.
Images/(1,2) Giphy; (3) ABC/WetPaint